


An Education In Fauna

by codenametargeter



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon Route, Faerghus's less than accurate library, M/M, Post-War, at least Claude is having a good time, their love language is swords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenametargeter/pseuds/codenametargeter
Summary: Dimitri and Felix attend diplomatic negotiations in Almyra. It turns out to be rather educational.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	An Education In Fauna

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sumaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumaru/gifts).



> I am begging you to please look at this [Twitter thread of medieval animal illustrations](https://twitter.com/DannyDutch/status/1313211950738870272) before you read this. Other than that, I have no excuses for this nonsense that I wrote in 24 hours.

“Something wrong, my love?”

“Yeah,” Felix says, half turning so he can look up at the man who’d murmured the words in his ear. “It’s too fucking hot here.”

Seemingly unconsciously, Dimitri tugs at his coat’s high collar. “Yes, Almyra does seem to be rather warmer than back home.” 

He mouths the words _rather warmer_ and then scowls. “We should have done this back in Faerghus.”

It’s one of the few moments they’ve had alone outside of the king’s temporary bedroom and so Dimitri takes advantage of it, wrapping both of his arms around Felix’s waist. Felix melts into his touch even though he’s still very much unhappy about all of this especially since negotiations will be resuming soon. “Claude came to us last time. It’s only fair that we made the journey here.”

“To this hot sand pit from hell.” Felix is well aware that Almyra has more than sand but he’s not feeling all that rational or charitable at the moment. 

“You didn’t have to come,” Dimitri reminds him for at least the seventh time since they disembarked three days ago. “You could have stayed in Fhirdiad and--”

“And let you come here without me after what happened--”

“Felix, that was one time and--”

“One time too many!”

“--besides, this is Claude’s country. We’re safe here.” 

Felix snorts as he mostly pulls himself free so he can look up at Dimitri. “The guy who used to brew poisons in his room? That Claude?”

“Talking about me?” Out of instinct, Felix and Dimitri move away from each other as Claude steps out onto the balcony, with an easy smile on his face that _almost_ looks genuine. He looks more at ease here than he ever did back in Fódlan and not just because he’s wearing clothing that’s clearly better suited to the climate. “Saying only good things, I hope?”

“No,” Felix says bluntly.

Immediately, Dimitri flushes. “Felix! Claude, I apologize.”

Claude’s already laughing and waving off Dimitri’s apology. “Still the same old Felix. You haven’t changed since school.”

“You neither,” Felix says. Both of them are lying and they know it. No one’s still the same person they were before the war. It doesn’t work like that. 

But neither of them are going to call each other out and Dimitri sure as hell isn’t going to say anything. What Dimitri _does_ do is clear his throat and say, “I thought we weren’t due to resume negotiations for another hour.” 

“We’re not,” Claude says, turning so he’s leaning against the stone railing. “But given how everything was going towards the end of yesterday, I was thinking that maybe we could take the morning off. Let some tempers cool.” And then he _winks_. 

Felix wants to strangle him. 

(Does diplomatic immunity extend to regicide? He should have asked Ferdinand before they’d left.)

“...thinking I could show you some of the parts of the palace you haven’t seen yet. I know I’m biased but I think the grounds here are the prettiest of any of the palaces.”

“We would love to,” Dimitri replies for the both of them. 

Now he wants to strangle _another_ king. 

“Great!” Claude says before hesitating and looking both of them up and down. “Maybe ditch a few of those layers first? There’s a reason we don’t usually wear fur in this part of Almyra.” 

For a moment, Felix considers keeping on everything he’s wearing out of pure petulance but his hatred of the heat wins out. The quick kiss that Dimitri steals when they’re out of sight helps too.

“You said this part of Almyra,” Dimitri says once the three of them are making their way through the meandering maze that is the palace’s hallways. Two guards trail them at a respectful distance, one from each of the royal retinues and more symbolic than anything. Dimitri walks in the middle with Felix on his right. “Does that mean the climate is cooler in other parts?”

Claude replies, “Nothing like the cold over in Faerghus but up in the northernmost parts and in the mountains, it gets cold enough to warrant wearing a third of a bear. Not an entire one though.”

Dimitri nods. “Winter at Garreg Mach must have been a bit different for you then.”

“I thought my fingers were going to freeze off the first time I tried to draw my bow after it had snowed.”

Felix snorts. “Like that would’ve stopped you.”

“Probably not.” Claude glances towards him and grins. “But I sure am glad I still have them. Here, we’re going this way.” 

As they turn a corner, Dimitri’s fingers brush against his and Felix hates himself for the thrill it sends through him. This is ridiculous. They’ve been together for years and sleeping together for even longer than that. The briefest touch shouldn’t still make him feel like this. At least no one’s paying enough attention to notice the flush of his cheeks or the look in Dimitri’s eye that says he wants to wrap an arm around his waist. 

“I could show you the gardens,” Claude continues, picking up the pace a little, “but I think you might find this a little more interesting than five fountains in different art styles and no, Felix, it’s not anything to do with weapons although if you want a demonstration with the scimitars we use here, I’m sure that can be arranged.” 

He tries and completely fails to sound casual. “If there’s time.”

The look Dimitri’s giving him says that Felix is probably going to end up leaving Almyra with a new sword if he ends up liking how it feels in his hand. He really does love this man. 

“We’ll figure something out. We’ve got plenty of time. But for now…” Claude leaps nimbly in front of them so he can walk backwards and make a dramatic gesture as they step out into the sunlight. “I bet you’ve never seen a crocodile before.” 

The sun is blinding at first but once his eyes adjust, he’s able to take in the objectively beautiful landscape in front of them. They’re raised up high above it but they can still easily make out all of the animals on the grounds below them, most of which Felix doesn’t recognize. What he doesn’t see is a--

“Where is the crocodile?” Dimitri asks, raising one hand to shade his eye.

Claude leans in closer to both of them and points at some flat, scaly creatures with a long, skinny mouth. “Right there.”

“That,” Felix says, “is not a crocodile.” 

Both of Claude’s eyebrows shoot up. “Uhh pretty sure I know what a crocodile looks like.”

“Yeah, so do I.” Maybe he always cared more about the weapons training part but Rodrigue had ensured that his education had been very thorough. That had involved studying the world outside of Fódlan which had included, to an extent, looking at their flora and fauna. “That’s not a crocodile.”

Dimitri’s brow is furrowed because he received a lot of the same education that Felix did and then some. “Claude, I have to agree with Felix here. The books we studied in our youth included illustrations.” 

Claude’s expression is even more unreadable than usual and when he finally manages to speak, his voice is somewhat strangled. “What… what did these books say crocodiles look like?” 

“Well, their mouths are certainly smaller and their legs are longer,” Dimitri says. “The scales are right though.”

“They’re not flat either.” Felix leans over the railing and can see now that there’s three of them there, one of which somehow looks even flatter than the others. “What the hell is wrong with that one?”

“Nothing, he’s fine.” Pressing his lips together, Claude casts his eyes around the grounds below them. “Okay. Okay, what about hippopotamuses?” 

“Don’t answer him, Dimitri,” Felix snaps, already knowing how this is going to end. 

And of course, he fucking does it anyways. “They were depicted as rather large and fish like, if I remember correctly? Mutated looking with trunks for noses.”

Silently, Claude points to an incredibly fat creature getting out of the water that looks like it shares more in common with a cow than a fish and has absolutely no trunk. “What the fuck,” Felix says. And then he gets a little more creative with his swears as Claude points out a few more animals and names them and not quite half of them look anything like the illustrations from the books before finally coming back to, “What the fuck.” 

Dimitri is, as always, more visibly collected. “It would seem that perhaps the lack of diplomatic ties between our countries over the last few centuries have had further reaching ramifications than expected.” 

“I really didn’t expect this,” Claude says, still trying to get his amusement under wraps but also seeming genuinely sincere. “If anything, I didn’t think you’d know what some of these animals even are since I never heard anyone even mention them when I was living in Fódlan.” 

They’re all standing angled just so that Dimitri can lay a hand on the small of Felix’s back without being noticed. It helps him croak out, “I like the cheetah.” 

Claude nods. “That makes sense. She’s fast when she wants to be. Scary fast.” The implication is there and he doesn’t seem to feel the need to voice it which is nice. “Do you guys want to get a closer look? We’ve still got some time to kill.”

“That would be most educational, thank you,” Dimitri says, withdrawing his hand to Felix’s dismay.

“Come on then. There’s some observation points closer to where we keep her.” Claude turns and starts to the lead the way but then pauses and looks back over his shoulder. “Oh and also? You two can just do your thing. It’s not like I don’t know and my guards won’t say anything.”

Dimitri turns bright red and stumbles over his words to say, “I uhh I’m not sure what you mean. Felix is my most trusted advisor and--”

Claude cuts him off. “My room was next to Felix’s back at school. You two weren’t exactly quiet.” 

It’s Felix’s turn to blush and he tries to cover it by whirling around to glare at Dimitri. “I _told you_ we should have used yours.”

“We were concerned about Sylvain--”

“Yeah, well I could’ve just punched Sylvain!”

Their argument is interrupted by the sound of Claude laughing. He holds his hands palms up in a gesture of surrender. “Sorry, sorry. This is just… you guys really thought I haven’t known for years? I thought giving you a suite with adjoining rooms would’ve given it away.”

“That was…” Dimitri pauses, clearly searching for the right word, “...considerate of you, Claude.”

The king of Almyra shrugs. “I try to be a considerate guy. Marianne’s influence probably. I’ll give you guys a minute.” And then he steps out of earshot and fidgets with his belt knife, twirling it like he used to do with arrows back in the day. 

“I hate this country,” Felix says flatly. 

Dimitri’s expression is one of barely restrained mirth. “It’s not as if we’re a well kept secret back home either. We should have realized that Claude already knew.” 

Felix continues on as if he hadn’t heard him. “It’s too hot and the animals don’t make sense.” 

“Even the cheetahs?”

“They can stay.”

Raising one hand to brush some errant strands of hair from Felix’s face, Dimitri’s smile shifts into the one that’s just for him. “May I kiss you, my love?”

“The hippopotamus is watching,” Felix says.

Dimitri steps further into his space and gently takes his face between both of his hands and says, “Let it,” before bending to kiss him and for a moment, Felix lets himself forget everything else. It’s just him and Dimitri, just as he likes it. Even the sun beaming down on their faces manages to feel warm and comforting. Perhaps this trip to Almyra isn’t actually the worst. Maybe he can learn to enjoy this as long as Dimitri’s with him.

That doesn’t stop him from swearing loud enough to be heard in Enbarr when, two months after they return to Fhirdiad, a trunk full of books with more accurate illustrations of Almyran wildlife shows up with King Khalid’s compliments. 


End file.
